i see you under the midnight

The Orthodox Church still uses the old calendar that everyone used before 1582, as well as the old calendar's way of calculating things, so Easter for us is this coming Sunday.  Some years it's the same day as "new" calendar Easter and some years there are weeks in between.  Unlike old calendar Christmas, which is always on January 7 (but to make it more confusing, some Orthodox Churches have adopted the "new" calendar's Christmas, but not the Easter!)

So I haven't had Easter yet.  I'm looking forward to it.  The light of the Unconquered Son and bright colors and chocolate and sugar and soft happy stuffed animals are exactly what I need after my stressful week.  Some of it hasn't been bad; some of it was actually very good  -- like, Kurt was back to normal with me (probably because I was ovulating) -- but it's still stressful to have such intense emotions.  I like him so so so much... don't get me wrong... but when he leaves before me (which is about half the time) I feel the same way Abey-baby feels when he's allowed to take his pants and socks off and run around in just his shirt and diaper.  He's all smiling and giggling and running around.  It's like more weight's been lifted from him than just those few ounces of clothing.  (By the way, I have two more weeks to call him Abey-baby.  When he's two I can't call him "baby" anymore!)

Anyway.  A lot of it was bad.  I had a migraine and the accompanying digestive upset for four days (probably because I was ovulating.)  One day I had to go home early and miss half a day's pay.  And I can't afford to miss half a day's pay!!  (Who can?)  But Kurt was so tender and concerned the next day.  [Yes, I'm actually thinking that might be worth the discomfort and the half a day's pay.  I am so far gone.  It's pathetic. ;)  ]

AND the lawyers are after me, and Baka, and Ted, again.  That is terrible horrible no-good VERY bad.

......a.k.a.  the baby shower!  It was a fun day, but no name announcement.  :(  They HAVE a name, they just aren't letting anyone else know it until she's born!  Uncle Chuck (the grandpa) hopes they've taken his suggestion of Ariana.  I hope not.  Ariana across the street from me was such a brat when she was younger.  XD   Joey (the uncle) knows -- he used to hang out with her brothers in those days.  Joey is feeling better btw.  He was in the hospital Friday night and put on mega-antibiotics -- caught some kind of nasty infection.

It was so good to see Nuhi (he's another uncle!).  He's being deployed to Afghanistan.  He's known about it for a year but couldn't say anything.  I will be praying hard for him every single day.

I'm just relieved I didn't feel like crap today like I did the last couple of days.  Work was hard to get through -- and Kurt has apparently decided to place me squarely in the "friend" category.  Which is fine IF we actually do become real friends, and not just people who talk to each other at work.  I care about him.  And unless my instincts are completely useless, he cares about me too.  If we aren't actual friends -- if absolutely nothing comes of this -- that will hurt me, very much.

Back to normal.  ^_^

When I got to work today, Andy, one of the guys back there, was in the break/locker room and we talked a bit.  We became work friends when I walked in on him arguing on the phone with his significant other.  That led to a discussion about the bad relationship I was still in at that time.

Anyway, today Andy asked me, "did you give up on our Kurt?"  and I thought, seriously, universe??  after the events of Friday and Saturday I'm being asked if I've given up on him?!  I told Andy it's more like HE gave up on ME, and when he found out I liked him he started avoiding me like a disease.  Andy said he didn't understand that since Kurt talks about me all the time.  I hadn't known that -- it does fit with everything else he ever did (except, you know, getting weirded out when I made it obvious I liked him, and treating me like a disease!)

Well, on my way out to the floor, there Kurt was -- and he acted like he usually did toward me, and that lasted all day.  So like I said, back to normal.  I want to be friends -- real friends -- with him no matter what else does or doesn't happen.  And I'm more convinced than ever that he cares about me.

Mother Nature's kicking my ass; hot fish guy is so weirded out by what happened yesterday, or rather what didn't happen yesterday, that he doesn't even want to be friends (am I that disgusting that the thought of me liking you sends you running to the hills?  And if I am that disgusting, why were you friends with me in the first place?  And furthermore, being a flirty guy, and also hot, you must have had female friends like you before.  Do you stop being friends with all of them then??  GAH!!!) -- AAAAND I'm only scheduled for two days next week.

Baka and I went to the mall by us for our first look at the Macy's that had its grand opening 8 days ago -- I literally could have walked from work, but I'd been sooo tiiiired, even Hello Kitty being there was no inducement.  (It only has about half the things that the one across town has, but still, it's a great store.)  Anyway we had a girls' day at the mall.  We haven't had one since the day we went to Victoria's Secret, were fitted by the formidable Princess (yes her mom gave her that name, and never was there a more appropriate one) and discovered exactly what the correct size bra can do.  (Of course I would have to be an odd size that can't be found outside a lingerie store, except in the Kardashian Kollection at Sears, which is why I'll never say another word against any of them.)

Tonight my neighbor's bandmates were over and they were jamming, so I went over there and had an awesome time.  They're so nice!  I took advantage of having this group of guys to talk to and asked them to help me decode guy behavior... all right, ONE guy's behavior!!!!  ;)